Anxiety PTSD Insomnia

 ~ P.T.S.D. ~  What is it ? PTSD= Post Traumatic Stress Disorder What causes PTSD ? NEWS FLASH: PTSD can be caused by anything.   Some of the more known situations that cause PTSD:  War Rape Abuse ( of any kind)  Car accidents or otherwise Who is can get PTSD? NEWS FLASH : Any one can get PTSD. So how did I get PTSD well it started when I was younger. I grew up in an abusive home, and was molested by my father and later raped by other people as well. I was introduced to many things as a child that I should not have been and groomed for a life that I left.  So those are what caused my PTSD. I don't like being touched unless its on my terms. I don't let myself get in certain situations because of my PTSD. If I end up in those situations that is where my fight or flight response kicks. I am not going into detail about my PTSD yet, but that also caused my anxiety and insomnia as well.  So if you struggle with this as wel...

How my battle with anxiety started....    I was born premature and weighed 1lb 9 oz. My mom was told I was a miscarriage, I made it but against all odds. I was in the hospital till I could go home on oxygen. I had needles etc in me keeping me alive till I could make it on my own. I had to fight to survive and I did.   I had to fight as I got older because my mother was in an abusive marriage and was abusive herself so I fought and that is where the situational anxiety started. Then my parents later divorced and both remarried all while I pre teen and in my teens so once again abuse and the situational anxiety. I left when I was still in my teen years and had to go back as no one would help. I am the oldest so had to be an example and grow up at a young age. But I did what I could to protect my siblings.   Both my parents divorced the ppl they married while I was in my teens.  So I dealt with a psychopathic father and a mother who dealt with a lot and ...

This is how anxiety feels everyday. This is true and the voice can say many different things and does depending on the anxiety. We the sufferers of anxiety know that most of the time it is irrational but we still deal with it and need to know that its ok.  For every one who has ever pulled themselves out of an anxiety attack , this is so true. : )  So proud of you and keep being strong. I post this to remind myself too. I struggle with anxiety but I have also for the most part learned how to cope. I have been lucky that full blown anxiety attacks do not happen that much for me but when they do they are horrible. I have minor side effects every day of little anxiety attacks.  If only this could be as easy as it sounds.... we all know its know because with anxiety we can't, unfortunately depending on our anxiety we care about everything and wish we did not. We want to not have the stress of everyday life, or social activities or what ever our anxiety is. I d...

coping skills : here is what worked when I was younger: walks by myself Hiking writing lots of time to myself journaling scrapbooking photoalbums organizing decluttering going numb cutting/ shutting people out what no longer works and why and what works now: walks by myself and hiking because I am a busy mom so I now can't just leave to do that. writing I can't devote the time and it does not help like it used to. Years of counseling stopped that I still organize and declutter constantly plus teaching my kids early to do the same I no longer go numb or emotionless due to a promise I made to my hubby before we were married that I would never do that again I stopped cutting and sought help for that I do still tend to shut down and shut ppl out but that doesn't help. 0 I have started bullet journaling( which I have come to appreciate)  and hopefully blogging will work out.  I am always looking for new ways to cope that might help...... so any ideas a...

I used to blog and deleted my old blogs. I made the decision to start blogging again as an outlet and to share who I am and how I got to where I am today and what has helped in hopes that it can help some one else. Plus I'm busy and I needed to do something or I would go crazy and well hopefully this will save my sanity .☺ I grew up with a happy childhood till age 8 and that is when my whole world changed. And it wasn't really happy before then but to me I had a family at 8 everything changed. I was born into a toxic family and I am the oldest of 5 kids. What I mean by toxic is my so called dad is a pyscopath and my mom has been through a lot herself causing her lose herself. However she always did what was best for us, or the best she could for the circumstances.  So lets start with the background of my parents who both grew up in abusive home and well it was inevitable when they got married and passed that legacy to us. so in there marriage or what I noticed both parents w...