Anxiety PTSD Insomnia

The rage and anxiety that gets built up from the ppl I love when they feel the need to give me the 3rd degree and micro manage my choices. I'm an adult I make my own choices and just because its not what they would do or they don't understand the logic they think to say things that fuels my anxiety . so I'm just not gonna deal with feelings cuz its sucks I absolutely hate it. Anxiety sucks . so going numb is just what I'm going to do. Cuz I'm done just done. I can't justify it anymore and I won't but I gotta deal so here's how it is . then they have the nerve to ask me if I'm mad. Really ? You piss me off you stay stupid crap , then have the nerve after all is said and done to ask if I'm mad. Of course I'm mad. You fueled my damn anxiety in fact triggered it don't care and then just cuz your not mad anymore . you don't get why I am. Well here why I can't turn it off I can't just stop I can't get angry or upset, sometimes c

When choices are made and we are put in situations that are uncomfortable , or in sticky situation through our own choices or choices of other.... We end up thinking or dissecting every choice or decision that got us there their so it doesn't happen again. Yet some how we end up there again, and again and again. Its a never ending cycle. The results may be different just a little every time but we still end up there.    So we dissect and we try to not end up there yet it comes up and we can never truly heal even if we do truly heal we are left with the scars the memories the hurt and they never go away.   We could be bettering our lives , and some thing said or incident in our lives will bring it all back up again. And we are left to deal with it. Or if we do talk about it , its we should be over it , ppl don't wanna hear it , ppl change give them a chance, don't talk about cuz others get uncomfortable, somehow it end up our fault , if we don't make these choices or t