Lessons learned

This post is about the lesson I have learned through some of the choices I have made in my life. 

So to understand the current one that has been hard that I have had to go through time and time again is the choice to continue to feel good about myself and not let life get me down. This last few months have been some of the hardest but before I delve into that to understand why we have to delve into my past from my childhood. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I grew up being a strong willed child its just who I am and I have never apologized for it and never will . 

so my first experience with life getting me down was when my world changed and I found out who my parents really were and the world was not at all like how I knew it to be. But as kids we are resilent and bounce back so that is what I did. I moved on and I dealt with it then in my pre teens and teens I dealt with it when I was working and rent and bills needed to be paid etc. so I dealt then too and did what needed to be done. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next was when I was trying to get out of my sitaution the first , second , and third time and always had to end up going back and I finally took control of my life and said no more so I left to live my life and never looked back. you see in all of these circumstances I learned how much courage it takes to move past your situation , to rise above and be who you want to become and to make it better so you don't continue the same path for whatever reason you want to change. TO do this it also takes a change in your mind as well. 

and alot of these times you need to fake it to you make it. 

I take opportunities. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

well the most recent was in march 2017 when I was let go from my job, ( it was a good job and I wasnt worried about anything really ) at this job not only did I make good money, I was able to have good insurance for my family and they were giving me my shot! so when I was let go it hit me hard and after that I no longer felt good enough, I felt like how do I go on and continue to be who I am and start over and a career again? SO I did what I always do and I dealt , I used what I didn't have to pay bills and keep my family a float. I got a job that paid less than what I was making before but I wasn't happy. so I looked for other opportunities and I left that job for an opportunity that did not pan out. So I go another job. and I'm happy with the job I have now. And I feel like I can be proud again. So I made decisions to make sure that no matter what happens we will be in a better situation should the need ever arise. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

you see I am some one who thinks about every decision and every possible scenario so I can stay out of the situation I came from. Its who I am and its what I do. Its how I cope and deal. 

So once I figure out what I can do to make it better and improve I do that and life continues to go on. 

I've realized that I can only change my choices and can control those and life other stuff might happen but I can control what I choose to do about it. 

SO this time I chose to be smart and do what I should have been doing but the problem I didn't think about it at the time. Now that I have actually thought about I put this plan into action and I hope it serves my family well. you see no matter how small it starts out. it's always a good thing to have a little progress, so I have been doing that and I feel proud again, I feel like I am worth it and everything will be okay. Its still a struggle but I will make it through I always do.