LETTING YOUR GUARD DOWN
Letting your guard down:
so lately my hubby always wants to know why I have my guard up and never let it down.
Well here is why : once you let your guard down , anything can happen and then everything can change bad things can happen and you can spiral into your past, into thee unknown , the whirlwind and trust issues that happen with letting your guard down always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
so because of this I never let my guard down and I haven't for a very long time.
let me explain..... Growing up, I'm the oldest but I grew up with an extremeist and a psychopath. when you go grow up in an enviroment like this it leads to abuse in the home, the pretending that all is ok and many many many experiences and leaves you with a very narrow view, trust is non existent and you just figure out to survive that is all you can do. no one cares and everyone that does know what is going on doesn't know how to help so you get stuck in an endless worldwind just surviving till you can leave and make it on your own
This is not an exaggeration! This is not for attention, this is my story and one that I don't always open and share as trust is non existent and you never know who is wanting to use what against you.
SO getting out of my situation is something that I did through a lot of hard work and dedication , looking at other choices and deciding I will never go down that path. To this day i have not and that is the one promise I have kept.
letting my guard down is never an option, because I have let it down in the past for ppl i so called trusted and it was used against me every time and I was hurt emotionally and physically. you see I am fine with who I am.
well in a marriage having your guard up can cause disagreements and problems but with my anxiety , ptsd and insomnia letting my guard down will never happen.
The only person I can fully truly trust is myself. I do trust my hubby but not in every situation dealing with my anxiety, and past which he knows about but doesn't understand.
My hubby and I come from two different worlds.... but if you have never been through what I have you wont understand how letting my guard down will never happen.
When you have insomnia your body doesn't let you sleep you have energy so you get done what you can when you can. PTSD is flash backs of what ever traumatic events happened and anything can trigger it and it can last for how ever long it lasts. SO my guard stays up so this doesn't happen as well.
ANXIETY how this works with the amount of thoughts are in my head at one time about all the possible scenarios that could ever happen whether I am ready or not and so I do not let my guard down.
well I will probably never let my guard despite the circumstance but even despite it all my hubby still loves me, my children love me and I would do anything for them! I have a good family and despite everything and that challenges that I face everyday I draw strength in the obstacles I overcome. In never letting my guard down, I am always prepared and I am strong.
so lately my hubby always wants to know why I have my guard up and never let it down.
Well here is why : once you let your guard down , anything can happen and then everything can change bad things can happen and you can spiral into your past, into thee unknown , the whirlwind and trust issues that happen with letting your guard down always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
so because of this I never let my guard down and I haven't for a very long time.
let me explain..... Growing up, I'm the oldest but I grew up with an extremeist and a psychopath. when you go grow up in an enviroment like this it leads to abuse in the home, the pretending that all is ok and many many many experiences and leaves you with a very narrow view, trust is non existent and you just figure out to survive that is all you can do. no one cares and everyone that does know what is going on doesn't know how to help so you get stuck in an endless worldwind just surviving till you can leave and make it on your own
This is not an exaggeration! This is not for attention, this is my story and one that I don't always open and share as trust is non existent and you never know who is wanting to use what against you.
SO getting out of my situation is something that I did through a lot of hard work and dedication , looking at other choices and deciding I will never go down that path. To this day i have not and that is the one promise I have kept.
letting my guard down is never an option, because I have let it down in the past for ppl i so called trusted and it was used against me every time and I was hurt emotionally and physically. you see I am fine with who I am.
well in a marriage having your guard up can cause disagreements and problems but with my anxiety , ptsd and insomnia letting my guard down will never happen.
The only person I can fully truly trust is myself. I do trust my hubby but not in every situation dealing with my anxiety, and past which he knows about but doesn't understand.
My hubby and I come from two different worlds.... but if you have never been through what I have you wont understand how letting my guard down will never happen.
When you have insomnia your body doesn't let you sleep you have energy so you get done what you can when you can. PTSD is flash backs of what ever traumatic events happened and anything can trigger it and it can last for how ever long it lasts. SO my guard stays up so this doesn't happen as well.
ANXIETY how this works with the amount of thoughts are in my head at one time about all the possible scenarios that could ever happen whether I am ready or not and so I do not let my guard down.
well I will probably never let my guard despite the circumstance but even despite it all my hubby still loves me, my children love me and I would do anything for them! I have a good family and despite everything and that challenges that I face everyday I draw strength in the obstacles I overcome. In never letting my guard down, I am always prepared and I am strong.
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